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Eyeing your toys suspiciously after watching Toy Story.
"feel my legs!!!" "why...?" "i just shaved :)"
Ending a presentation by saying "And, yeah..."
Truth or Dare? "Dare" .... No i'm not doing that.
Ew, don't honk at me, you're like 80.
Mom, im 16 now. Can I have a Bra? ...No, Justin.
Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil.
I am a ninja.. no your not.. did you see me do that.. do what? ... exactly.
Everything i know in life i learned from friends – • Never use “we were on a break” as an excuse • Remember it’s not that common it doesn’t happen to every guy and it is a big deal • Everybody has a lobster • Quitting the gym is just as hard as quitting the bank • For more space in bed, use “hug and roll” technique • Yemen is a good place to escape unwanted girlfriends • You can do a lot with just cups and ice • Always say the right name at the alter • Powder and lotion will not help remove hot
Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant, I'm just getting drunk.
All my life ive been saying duck tape not duct tape
When I hear myself eating crunchy food, I wonder if people can hear it too.
Acting like your texting on your phone when you see someone you don't want to talk to.
I WANNA GET CHOCOLATE WASTED!!!!!
Saying oh! like you get it. But you still have no idea.
Rawwwr means I Love You in dinosaur :)
Agreeing with people so they'll shutup.
Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Having sex is like playing poker. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I WILL BE HAPPY