Have something you want your friends to like?

I Like

1. Eyeing your toys suspiciously after watching Toy Story.


2. "feel my legs!!!" "why...?" "i just shaved :)"


3. Ending a presentation by saying "And, yeah..."


4. Truth or Dare? "Dare" .... No i'm not doing that.


5. Ew, don't honk at me, you're like 80.


6. Mom, im 16 now. Can I have a Bra? ...No, Justin.


7. Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil.


8. I am a ninja.. no your not.. did you see me do that.. do what? ... exactly.


9. Everything i know in life i learned from friends – • Never use “we were on a break” as an excuse • Remember it’s not that common it doesn’t happen to every guy and it is a big deal • Everybody has a lobster • Quitting the gym is just as hard as quitting the bank • For more space in bed, use “hug and roll” technique • Yemen is a good place to escape unwanted girlfriends • You can do a lot with just cups and ice • Always say the right name at the alter • Powder and lotion will not help remove hot


10. Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant, I'm just getting drunk.


11. All my life ive been saying duck tape not duct tape


12. When I hear myself eating crunchy food, I wonder if people can hear it too.


13. Acting like your texting on your phone when you see someone you don't want to talk to.


14. I WANNA GET CHOCOLATE WASTED!!!!!


15. Saying oh! like you get it. But you still have no idea.


16. Rawwwr means I Love You in dinosaur :)


17. Agreeing with people so they'll shutup.


18. Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.


19. Having sex is like playing poker. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.


20. I WILL BE HAPPY